The Three Stages of Understanding

Today’s blog is excerpted from my newest book, a completely revised and updated 10th anniversary edition of Supercoach: 10 Secrets to Transform Anyone’s Life.

To order from, click here.

To order from, click here.



Here are the 10 hidden truths we’ve been exploring in this book:

1. Your world is what you think it is, but there’s a world beyond your thinking.

2. Wellbeing is not the fruit of something you do; it’s the essence of who you are. There is nothing you need to change, do, be, or have in order to be happy.

3. There’s nowhere for you to get to – you’re already here.

4. There’s no such thing as a decision – you either know what to do or you don’t.

5. Every feeling you experience is the shadow of a thought, not a reflection of the world around you. You’re living in the feeling of your thinking, not the feeling of your circumstances.

6. You have an innate, real‐time responsive intelligence you can rely on to let you know what to do when it’s time to do it.

7. Connection is what happens when human beings spend time together without their thinking getting in the way.

8. You can ask anyone for anything if you don’t buy into your thinking about what it would mean if they said ‘no.’

9. Your wellbeing is not dependent on your bank balance. Master the art of difference‐making and you secure your financial future.

10. Hope is the gateway to new possibilities.

As you begin to gain insight into these truths and the principles behind them, your life will begin to transform. Results will matter less than ever, and you’ll find yourself producing them even more consistently. Your fears and stresses will fall away as you recognize that they are made of the same gift of Thought that allows you to experience miracles in the world. While everyone’s insights are unique and personal to them, I find there are some fairly consistent stages of understanding people go through as they dive deeper into the inside‐out nature of experience…

Stage 1: Shifting the foundations

The general report from people when they gain their first insights into Mind, Thought, and Consciousness is that a sense of ease and wellbeing begins to permeate their lives, coupled with a sense of surprise that things have begun to shift in their circumstances ‘all by themselves.’ This can be unsettling. As one client said to me with great concern in his voice, ‘The problem is, I don’t have any more problems.’

When you’re at this stage, you may find yourself worrying about not being worried, and being a bit upset about the fact that nothing seems to upset you anymore. As another client told me, ‘It feels as though something is missing from my life.’ When we explored this further, it turned out that what was missing was all the stress he was used to experiencing.

While for some people the relief of reaching this kind of equanimity is more than enough, I’m equally interested in what becomes possible because of it. Some of my clients were already pretty far down the road to success when they first hired me, but after a while it’s as though they’ve learned a whole new way of being in the world. That’s why for me peace of mind and greater contentment and happiness are both ‘the end of the road’ and the path forward – the place where the journey really begins…

Stage 2: Experiencing Effortless Success

When people begin experiencing a more effortless way of living, the results they produce (and the way in which they produce them) can be quite startling. Customers and clients appear out of nowhere. Business opportunities show up ‘out of the blue.’ Relationship miracles occur and seemingly insurmountable problems simply dissolve without ever being addressed directly.

At this stage, people often go back and forth between being thrilled with the way that their lives are unfolding and terrified that ‘the magic will stop working’ and they’ll go right back to how things were before they started.

One day a client explained this feeling to me by saying, ‘It’s like I’m driving my daddy’s Ferrari – it’s incredible fun, and I’m really moving forward, but every time I start to feel that I’m going too fast, I slam on the brakes because I’m terrified of crashing the car!’

My explanation for this is simple:

Traditional success models are all about doing; creating effortless success is all about being.Click To Tweet

It’s easy to track the cause and effect with a doing‐based model – the more you do, the better the result. But when you’re experiencing effortless success, you do less and achieve more.

People often get uncomfortable in this stage because they haven’t yet seen the connection between how they’re showing up on a daily basis and the results they’re producing in the world. In some cases, the discomfort can get so, well, uncomfortable that people would rather go back to doing things the way they used to. Even though it’s harder and less sustainable, at least it makes sense to them – at least they feel they have some control.

Also, amazing things happen at first, but the results begin to diminish over time. It seems as though things aren’t working as well as they used to, or that the ‘magic’ only works on the small stuff.

But for the people who stick with it, there’s a third stage – the most wonderful stage of all…

Stage 3: Living a miraculous life

At some point, people begin to understand that effortless success isn’t magic (although it certainly is magical) – it’s the natural result of approaching life from a place of profound wellbeing, listening for the inner call, and following it wherever it may lead.

At this stage, you realize it’s not your daddy’s Ferrari, it’s yours – and it’s just one of the wonderful cars you have in your garage. There’s no fear that ‘it will stop working’ because you realize that ‘it’ has never worked – the power to create a life well‐lived was inside you right from the very beginning.

When I was first learning to become a coach, my favorite stories were about the Taoist sages who used to wander from village to village in ancient China. Although these sages held a variety of jobs in a disparate array of professions, they lived in such harmony with themselves and the world around them that whenever they passed through a town, disputes would resolve themselves and problems would be ‘dis‐solved’ in the clarity of their presence. Without necessarily working directly to help others, these sages were a healing power in the world.

As your life gets better and better, it will begin to have a positive impact on the people around you and transform their lives, too. Even if your job description isn’t part of the helping profession, people will just feel more relaxed in themselves when they’re with you. They’ll find themselves experiencing more success in their lives and producing results far beyond their efforts. There is nothing you need to do to make this happen – it’s the natural result of resting in your innate wellbeing and evolving in your understanding of how our experience is only ever being created from the inside out.

Have fun, learn heaps, and may all your success be fun!

With all my love,



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